Secret Moments & Sharing Networks

Let's face it, humans are social creatures. How else can you explain stories, long conversations, and todays social media? We tweet every thought, Instagram all of out meals and outfits, Facebook out lives, and (back when I was younger) would change out MySpace mood, song, and background. We do all of this because we want to share who we are with others, we want to share our experiences with others, and we want to share out lives with others! I currently major in "Interaction and Information Design", and there's a lot to it but I study applications and ways for people to share things and "interact" with as part of my future career. So believe me, I understand that we have a need for it, and I'm not trying to stop it. There are the reasons of bragging and looking for approval, things I'm sure everyone has read about online and probably shared or commented on whichever media site they most prefer. But I'm not writing a article to "shame" people into sharing less, not in the least.

You see, I was going to write about how living behind a camera lens isn't good, and how we should live life in the moment. But I recently put together a scrapbook full of photos and I'm glad I took the time to take those! Now I have little photos that make all my memories rush back to me! And I can share them with others to show them my experiences. That's what photos are for, memories and sharing. There's no reason to shame people for any photo taking. I do think some moments should be unhindered, and that you don't need a picture for every silly thing, but that doesn't mean we should throw out out cameras either.

My first point is that we are social creatures. We crave sharing things with others (though food sometimes is not one of these things, especially desserts or Hot Cheetos with lime!) and we always have. We invented language to communicate, right? A lot of people try to bash modern technology and "hipsters" and talk about how we used to write letters or use landlines to communicate. We romanticize these things so much though. Recently my boyfriend went to the Army, and will probably be there for 2 years. People think it's romantic that I write letters, or that we only got one phone call in the last month. It sounds like a movie love, or a love from a different age when people write letters from the other side of the world to talk. But you know what? I would love to have my modern romance back also. The one people bash for being "anti-social" and "too easy" or "shallow". Sharing funny photos and talking about random things throughout the day via Facebook, text, applications, etc. I have precious memories of talking as well, and of just enjoying each others company, but I also know that we broke the ice with Star Wars Memes and short jokes throughout the day before those moments happened (and after too). The thing is, I would give anything to check my phone and see those notifications from him. "He liked your photo, he commented, he shared something on your timeline, you have a new message". I miss all of those popping up throughout my day. I re-read letters because they're all I have, and I would love to simply have a funny joke or picture of a cute bunny from time to time. So don't bash modern social media too much, because it does let us share small meaningless, and also big, things about our lives with the people we love, or with anyone who will listen. (I mean, I have a blog and I'm writing this, so obviously I want to share this with people too, right?)

I'm getting off track, the point is we want to share who we are. Even an introvert shares quotes, statuses, articles, pins things, likes things, and comments "so true!" on memes about being an introvert. We want people to know what we do, and to respond! That's why we have "like", "reblog", "comment", etc, because we want a response as well. We like attention and knowing someone is listening, some more than others, and we like looking at the lives of other people. So let me say it in a simple way; human life is meant to be shared, however you choose to do it. We talk to people will listen, we want to share our lives to see if someone relates, and no matter how many times we post "I want to be alone", we don't really want to be all alone (at least not forever), otherwise we wouldn't take the time to tell people.

Now I just needed to write about the moments that we do share. Dating, marriage, cooking, inspirational quotes, Vines, and photos of animals... We share all of this, right? We want someone else to see what we saw, know we saw it, and know what they thought when they saw it. But I wan't to move on to the things we don't share with everyone. There are dark sides, yes, but I don't mean things that are depressing that we don't share. I'm talking about what I call "secret moments". These are memories of things so precious to us that we don't tell anyone about them. It's not because the moments are dirty or something to be ashamed of that they are a secret, it's because they are too precious to share. They are something dear to you that you don't want other people to touch or tarnish. These memories are the pearls that we refuse to throw before swine.

Sometimes we do have those things we are embarrassed about, or that we hide because we don't want to be judged, but I'm not talking about those things at all right now. I'm simply talking about the beautiful memories that we have. Like that beautiful walk that you go on alone, and the view that you took in without taking a photo because it doesn't do it justice. Or when you played with your nephew for the first time and didn't want everyone to know about because you were too happy to stop and write about it or snap a picture. Maybe that moment when you knew you loved the person you were with, the first time you thought you looked beautiful or handsome, or maybe just a meal that you indulged in and it's your own secret ingredient that no one else can know. We have these small, sometimes big, secret moments that we don't talk about because we don't want anyone to say it's dumb, make fun, or simply not understand the real meaning of it.

I like to talk about my friends and school life a lot since I came to see my friends and family after a year. But I have precious moments that I keep to myself, that I just smile and think about alone. They make me so happy and I never want to lose them. And I keep these moment special by not talking about them. I'll tell story after story of my boyfriend, but there are some memories that I don't talk about. Again, not because there's shameful or something, but because they are just for us. It's like our own secret that we don't share with others, but talk about when it's just us. I keep myself from telling others because I like the idea that there are some memories only we share. So this post is about keeping those secret moments, cherish them and keep them to yourself. Don't post about them or take photos, but keep a memory for yourself to think about on a bad day. Have some secret moments in your life.

I had a Professor last year who taught a very difficult class, but one of the things that she said that really stuck with me was not in the textbook, it was said during our break time. She basically said that life is more exciting or satisfying when we have secrets and mystery; when people don't know everything about us and every story. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. It's not about hiding things to be petty or insecure, it's about keeping some things for yourself. That's great. That's a lesson worth remembering.


See you next time you jump down the Rabbit hole,
-C.A.M.

(I know this isn't a recipe or a review, but sometimes you have something on your mind that you simple have to write about! Have a great week!)